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Funny Movie Quotes H-M
Half Baked
Release Date: 1/16/1998
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Scarface: F@#$ you, f@#$ you, f@#$ you, you're cool, and f@#$ you, I'm out!
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 Thurgood Jenkins: You have smoked yourself retarded.
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Thurgood Jenkins: I got some bootie! I got some bootie! It was good, too.
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 Kenny: You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!
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 Squirrel Master: Back up Nasty Nate, this my bitch!
.gif) Nasty Nate: Better watch your back Fish! Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time. Next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail... FRUIT!
Kenny: Here take it!
Kenny: I'm somebody's bitch!
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 Enhancement Smoker: You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.
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 The Guy on the Couch: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood Jenkins: No, it's August.
The Guy on the Couch: Really?
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 Brian: I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do and... FLIP OUT man... all I wanna know is one thing... who's coming with me?
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Brian: Hey, Jan... will you be my girlfriend?
 Jan: Well, I would, but I'm gay. I'm a big dyke.
Brian: Oh. What's that like?
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Thurgood Jenkins: The MacGyver smoker is a very handy guy to have around, especially when it comes to reefer.
McGayver Friend: Hey, man, we're out of papers.
 McGayver Smoker: All right. Then get me a toilet paper roll, a corkscrew and some tin foil.
McGayver Friend: We don't have a corkscrew.
McGayver Smoker: All right. Then get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel.
McGayver Smoker: Trust me, bro. I've made bongs with less. Hurry up!
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Hancock
Release Date: 7/2/2008
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Rail Crossing Crowd #2: I can smell alcohol on your breath!
 Hancock: That's cause I've been drinking bitch!
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 Michel: Asshole.
Hancock: Call me an asshole one more time.
Michel: Asshole.
Hancock: [grabs Michel and launches him into the sky; turns to chubby kid] You got a problem Thickness?
Hancock: How about you Goggles?
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Hancock: All of you people, blocking the intersection, you're all idiots.
Rail Crossing Crowd #1: You're the one that threw the dude's car at her. And what's with the train?
Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Why didn't you just go straight up in the air with the car? You've obviously injured that poor woman.
Rail Crossing Crowd #3: She's right. She should sue you.
Hancock: Okay. Well, you should sue McDonald's, 'cause they f@#$ed you up.
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Hancock: I'll break my foot off in your ass, woman...
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Hancock: If you don't give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass, and you drew the short stick, cause your head is going up my ass!
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 Ray Embrey: My basic diagnosis of your fundamental problem is... do you want to hear it?
Hancock: No.
Ray Embrey: You're an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It's not a crime to be an asshole, but it's very counter-productive. Not a crime, but you are an asshole, don't you think?
Hancock: Be careful.
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Hancock: If you don't move, your head is going up his ass. Y'all fellas sure you wanna ride this train?
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Hangover, The
Release Date: 6/5/2009
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Phil Wenneck: Whose f@#$ing baby is that?
 Stu Price: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
 Alan Garner: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... no one's there. Check its collar or something.
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Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
 Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.
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 Black Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories.
Alan Garner: Or rapies.
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Alan Garner: Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?
 Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper.
Lisa: I'm not sure.
Alan Garner: Is there a payphone bank? Buncha payphones? Business.
Lisa: Umm, there's a phone in your room...
Alan Garner: That'll work.
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Stu Price: So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
Alan Garner: What are you talking about? I've found a baby before.
Stu Price: You found a baby before? Where?
Alan Garner: Coffee Bean.
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Alan Garner: Can I ask you another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan Garner: You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace is it?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: Did, umm... did Caesar live here?
Lisa: No.
Alan Garner: I didn't think so.
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Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?
Alan Garner: Oh really?
Doug Billings: It's not easy.
Alan Garner: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ruh-tard.
Stu Price: A what?
Alan Garner: He was a ruh-tard.
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 Sid Garner: Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas... Except herpes, that shit will come back with you.
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Phil Wenneck: God damn it!
Alan Garner: Gosh darn it!
Phil Wenneck: Shit!
Alan Garner: Shoot!
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Alan Garner: That's right. You better walk on. I'll hit an old man in public!
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Alan Garner: What if Doug's dead? I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died.
Phil Wenneck: How'd he die?
Alan Garner: World War II.
Phil Wenneck: Died in battle?
Alan Garner: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.
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Happy Gilmore
Release Date: 2/16/1996
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.
 Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.
Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so.
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 Happy Gilmore: During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.
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Happy Gilmore: The price is wrong, bitch.
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 Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.
Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in MY world now, grandma!
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Happy Gilmore: You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!
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Harry and the Henderson's
Release Date: 6/5/1987
Rated PG
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 George Henderson: We've got some big guns and some big-big guns but I'm afraid I'm all out of big-big ammo!
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George Henderson: He walked into our kitchen and was eating out of our refrigerator. I thought we was gonna eat me but he ate our daughter's corsage and then ate our goldfish!
Sergeant Mancini: And where is he now, Mr. Henderson?
George Henderson: In the bathroom.
Sergeant Mancini: Oh, of course, how stupid of me.
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 Sarah Henderson: Where's the roast?
George Henderson: I'll go get it.
 Nancy Henderson: The roast is resting in a shallow unmarked grave in the backyard.
George Henderson: Oh. Well, there's plenty of other stuff.
 Dr. Wallace Wrightwood: Are you vegetarians?
George Henderson: Sometimes. It depends on the guest.
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George Henderson: Nan, don't you like roughing it in the wild?
Nancy Henderson: Roughing it? George, the only thing rough about it was when the generator went out in the middle of Masterpiece Theatre.
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How High
Release Date: 12/21/2001
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
Baby Powder: We gotta get out there and find my bitches!
Baby Wipe: Powder, can't we just call them employees?
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Baby Powder: Now here I’ve got a twenty dollar money order...
 Hella Back: Twenty Dollars!
 End Table Ass: Money Order!
Baby Powder: ...that you two bitches can split!
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 Ivory: I'm taking you off my buddy list bitch! I hope you get a virus! You and your computer!
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Baby Powder: Wheremybitches?
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 Jamal: How did I fail women's studies? I love bitches!
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 Silas: So, you trying to get something to bring your nerves down too, huh?
Jamal: Yeah. I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores! Right?
Silas: Right.
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Silas: Shit, I'll f@#$s witcha!
Jamal: Shit, I'll f@#$s witcha, too!
 Huntley: And that's a good thing?
Jamal: Yes. That's a "yes"!
Huntley: Then we'll 'fox' with each other.
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 Bart: I'm the captian of the crew team, Jermaine.
Jamal: The name's JAMAL, and I'll F@#$ yo' crew up! Who are dey?
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Silas : That shit on your lip got some shit on its lip.
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 Internet Date: It looks like somebody took a dump in the middle of your face!
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Amir: I cut myself shaving! Please, pass the dutchie.
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Bart: This ain't basketball Jimmy Jam
Jamal: Well Bart Fart.....
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 Dean Cain: YOU were dropping CHEESE DOODLES on an original, 18th century, HAND WOVEN TAPESTRY!!! I got this in my travels to Nepal!
Jamal: ...You mean this carpet? Man, I know the bitch that make these rugs, you know Juanita and...
Silas: Yeeeeaah I remember that bitch.
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I Love You Man
Release Date: 3/20/2009
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Peter Klaven: Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!
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 Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
 Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
 Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
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Peter Klaven: See you later, Joben!
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 Robbie Klaven: Casual lunch or after work drinks. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter Klaven: Ohhhh god i love that movie. No I wont.
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Peter Klaven: Totally... Totes McGotes.
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Peter Klaven: I will see you there, or I will see you on another time!
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 Sydney Fife: You get home safe, Pistol.
Peter Klaven: You got it, Joben.
Sydney Fife: I'm sorry, what?
Peter Klaven: Er... nothing.
Sydney Fife: No, what did you say?
Peter Klaven: Nah, I don't know... You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you... "Joben"... It means nothing... I don't... I'm drunk... I'm gonna call a cab.
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Peter Klaven: Look man you told my fiancee she needs to give me bloweys, in front of my whole family.
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 Doug: I just wish I could take back that kiss. Because now I know... it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter Klaven: It wasn't the ta...
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal... you f@#$ing whore!
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I Spy
Release Date: 11/1/2002
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
 Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?
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Kelly Robinson: You know, I was born semi-pyschic, and I had a bad hunch something was gonna happen in that room.
 Alexander Scott: Then, why did you go into the room?
Kelly Robinson: I'm semi-pyschic! I ain't Miss Cleo!
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Kelly Robinson: You see, my grandmother raised me....
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Independence Day
Release Date: 7/3/1996
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 David Levinson: Must go faster.
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Captain Steven Hiller: That's what you get! Ha Ha! Look at you! Ya ship's all banged up!
Captain Steven Hiller: Who's the man? Huh? Who's the man? Wait till I get another plane! I'm a line ya friends up right beside you! Where ya at, huh? Where ya at?
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Captain Steven Hiller: Oops.
David Levinson: W-what do you mean, oops?
Captain Steven Hiller: Some jerk put this...
Captain Steven Hiller: the wrong way round.
David Levinson: Don't say oops.
Captain Steven Hiller: What do you say we try that again?
David Levinson: Yes, yes. Yes. Without the oops. Thataway.
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avid Levinson: Forget the fat lady. You're Obsessed with fat lady. Just get us out of here!
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Captain Steven Hiller: No, you did NOT shoot that green shit at me!
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Captain Steven Hiller: and what the hell is that smell?
Captain Steven Hiller: I could've been at a barbecue!
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Innerspace
Release Date: 7/1/1987
Rated PG
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Jack Putter: Did you hear that?
 Waiting Room Patient: Hear what?
Jack Putter: You didn't hear that then?
Waiting Room Patient: Noooo, I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Are you feeling all right?
Jack Putter: Would I BE in a DOCTOR'S OFFICE if I WAS feeling all right?
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 Man in Restroom: Play with it, buddy. Don't talk to it.
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 Lt. Tuck Pendleton: I'm inside you! Right now, inside you! Inside your body!
Jack Putter: No! Somebody help me! I'M POSESSED!
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Jerk, The
Release Date: 12/14/1979
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Navin R. Johnson: For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex.
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Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.
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Navin R. Johnson: Lord loves a workin' man, don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
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Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
 Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
 Sniper: (pointing out a random name in the phone book) Johnson, Navin R... sounds like a typical bastard.
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 Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
Navin R. Johnson: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?
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 Stan Fox: Damn these glasses son.
Navin R. Johnson: Yes, sir.
Navin R. Johnson: I damn thee.
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Navin R. Johnson: First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.
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Motel Guest: Don't call that dog "lifesaver;" call him "shithead."
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Navin R. Johnson: Now be totally honest. You do have a boyfriend don't you.
 Marie: Kind of
Navin R. Johnson: I know this is our first date but do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend you could think of me?
Marie: Well I haven't made love to him yet.
Navin R. Johnson: That's too bad. Do you think its possible that someday you could make love with me and think of him?
Marie: Who knows maybe you and he could make love and you could think of me.
Navin R. Johnson: I'd be happy to be in there somewhere.
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New Accounts Bank Manager: I will need two pieces of identification.
Navin R. Johnson: Ah yes. I have my temporary driver's license - and - my astronaut application form... I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.
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Sniper: Die, you random son of a bitch.
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Navin R. Johnson: Good Lord - I've heard about this - cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?
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Just Visiting
Release Date: 4/6/2001
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 André le Pate: I am eating this very good meats and vegetables in a very fine sauce... I will shit easy tomorrow.
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Andre: I am Andre le Pate. I have big balls! And my ass breathes fire!
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 Count Thibault: Run behind the chariot, peasant!
Andre: Yes, master!
 Hunter: He can't run behind the car!
Count Thibault: He cannot ride with us; he is not noble.
 Julia: Yes, but he has to ride in the car.
Count Thibault: He is very fast!
Hunter: We-we're taking the freeway; you can run seventy miles an hour, can you?
André: I have good boots!
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Kicking and Screaming
Release Date: 5/13/2005
Rated PG
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Phil Weston: You're my assistant. You're supposed to back me up and go get me juiceboxes whenever I want. Now go get me a juicebox!
 Mike Ditka: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?
Phil Weston: I'm talkin' to the juicebox guy!
Mike Ditka: You're crazy!
Phil Weston: I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty!
Mike Ditka: OH, YOU GO TO HELL!
Phil Weston: No, you go to hell, and while you're there, why don't you grab me a juicebox!
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Phil Weston: I am angry. I'm like a large tornado of anger, swirling about.
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 Buck Weston: I take a vitamin everyday. It's called a steak.
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Phil Weston: Well, if it isn't Porkface Jones. I can eat a box of cookies tonight. Can you do that? No. Because you're nothin' but a fart-faced kid.
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Knocked Up
Release Date: 6/1/2007
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Doorman: I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I f@#$in' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as f@#$. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
 Debbie: What?
Doorman: You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a black midget in the crowd.
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 Jonah: Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing?
 Martin: Oh, another beard joke?
Jonah: How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?
Martin: It was really awkward.
Jonah: See ya... Scorcese on coke.
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 Alison Scott: I was drunk!
 Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?
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 Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to f@#$in' rock this shit!
Jonah: What the f@#$, man? If I go in there and see f@#$in' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna f@#$in' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a f@#$in' stuffed animal!
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Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
.jpg) Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
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Pete: There are five different types of chairs in this hotel room.
Ben Stone: That's way too many chairs for one room!
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Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: F@#$ off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?
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 Jill: Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah.
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Ben Stone: Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
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Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
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Martin: Do you ever get so bored, you just stare at your balls?
Jonah: I bet you do, late John Lennon.
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 Jodi: You must be angry at the baby whenever it steals your food, huh. Ohh that's mine, not yours. But, you know, because you're family you gotta share.
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Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity.
Jonah: Well that's true. Everyone knows that.
Jason: What goes up must come down.
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Jonah: We got pinkeye.
Ben Stone: Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?
Jason: Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.
Jay: Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.
Pete: You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?
Jonah: Totally!
Pete: That's awesome!
Jonah: Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?
Martin: No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high
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Liar, Liar
Release Date: 3/21/1997
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Miranda: Ummm that was incredible. Was it good for you?
 Fletcher: I've had better.
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Fletcher: You scratched my car!
Motorpool Guy: Where?
Fletcher: Right there!
Motorpool Guy: OH... That was already there.
Fletcher: You - -LIAR! You know what I am going to do about this?
Motorpool Guy: what?
Fletcher: Nothing! Because if I take it to small claims court, it will just drain 8 hours out of my life and you probably won't show up and even if I got the judgment you'd just stiff me anyway; so what I am going to do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk, and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!
Motorpool Guy: You've been here before haven't ya?
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 Greta: He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
Fletcher: Stop breaking the law, asshole!
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 Jane: Do you like my new dress?
Fletcher: What ever takes the focus off your head!
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Office Worker: Hey, Fletcher, how's it hanging?
Fletcher: Short, shriveled, and always to the left.
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 Max Reede: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.
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Fletcher: Weight, 105. Yeah, in your bra!
 Dana: Your Honor, I object!
Fletcher: You would!
Dana: BASTARD!
Fletcher: HAG!
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 Busty Woman on Elevator: Everybody's been real nice.
Fletcher: Well, that's because you've got big jugs. I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em. Mama!
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Fletcher: Write it! Write or i'll break it off!!
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Little Monsters
Release Date: 8/25/1989
Rated PG
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Maurice: after peeing in Ronny's apple juice, Ronny's gonna be pissed!
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Maurice: We take the shit, we smash the shit, and then we put the shit back.
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Maurice: Hmm yum, you know I thought it would be good but it's snot. Ha Ha!
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Maurice: A man's best friend, His right hand
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Little Nicky
Release Date: 11/10/2000
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Jimmy the Demon: Remember, you have to shove a pineapple up Hitler's ass at 4 p.m...
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 Nicky: Popeye's chicken is f@#$in' awesome!
Demon: Popeye's chicken is the shiznit!
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 Christa: God's so smart.
 Jenna: Yeah, like Jeopardy smart.
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 Satan: I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.
 Dan Marino: C'mon, man, I'm just asking, let me win one Superbowl.
Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Dan Marino: You did it for Namath.
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
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Reporter: And what brought you out to the game today?
Boy At Game: I came for the beer and the bitches.
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Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Release Date: 3/5/1999
Rated R
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Eddie: They're armed.
 Soap: What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!
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 Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
 Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot.
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Little Chris: F@#$in' hell John, do you always walk around with this in your pocket?
 Big Chris: Hey! You use language like that again son, you'll wish you hadn't!
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Lenny: I hate these fucking southern fairies!
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Barry the Baptist: Hello son, would you like a lolly?
Little Chris: Piss off, you nonce!
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Longest Yard, The
Release Date: 5/27/2005
Rated PG-13
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Caretaker: Look in your toilet, I left you a surprise.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You took a shit in my toilet?
Caretaker: No, that's what I left in Brucey's toilet.
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 Guard Lambert: Is that legal?
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Yes, it is.
Guard Lambert: Is that a touchdown?
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Yes, it is.
Guard Lambert: Oh, goddamn it!
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 Cheeseburger Eddy: Why you bein' a McAsshole?
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 Brucie: Our Savior Jesus, help me do this right and I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black men.
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Con Transvestite: What's wrong with you? Jealous because I don't cheer for you anymore?
Brucie: I don't know what you're talking about, Freak show!
Con Transvestite: Whatever, back freckles!
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Man Who Knew Too Little, The
Release Date: 11/14/1997
Rated PG
ReelLaughs Grade: C
 Lorelei 'Lori': What are you? C.I.A., Mafia?
 Wallace: Both.
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Hawkins: Spencer, did you flush?
Wallace: I think she's gonna do that, don't you, pal? I'll ask her. Lori!
Hawkins: He's talking to her!
 Sir Roger Daggenhurst: She's still in the bowl?
Hawkins: Maybe he tried to flush her, but she floated back up!
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: Tell him to flush her! Spencer knows how to deal with floaters.
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Sir Roger Daggenhurst: What are you doing with one of our communicators, Cochran?
Chief Insp. Cockburn: This man refused to provide me with any identification.
Sir Roger Daggenhurst: Of course he didn't provide you with any identification. He's a secret agent.
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Wallace: She told me about the letters.
 Gilbert Embleton: Letters? What letters?
Wallace: The letters. She told me about them. I know all about the letters. How do you think I know? She told me. Thats how I found out.
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Me, Myself, and Irene
Money Pit
Money Talks
Mr. Mom
Multiplicity
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